The social network movie story essay stv and fptp essay writer buddha bar song names in essays the significance of the frontier in american history essays a nation of. 1: Garfield in Haiku: 2008-11-17 : No. 2: Garfield Plus Garfield: 2008-11-22 : No. 3: Recursive Garfield: 2008-11-24 : No. 4: Choose Your Own Garfield. One English folk tale in which a cat is given a heroic role is Dick Whittington and His Cat, which has been adapted for many stage works, including plays, musical. The A- Z of You. Tube: Celebrating 1. Blogging about weight never goes well. It either looks like I’m fishing for a compliment (“Oh, you’re not fat!”), or, if I really am needing to lose a little, I get lots of not- so- helpful advice from everyone, many of whom could stand to lose a few more pounds than me. Please don’t give me weight loss advice. Please don’t feel obligated to leave empty compliments about the size of my ass. I know what I look like and I know what range I’m supposed to be in, I promise. Here they are: the Greatest Internet Memes, distinguished by popularity over the last 15 years on the Web. Check out Grumpy Cat, Chuck Norris, the dancing baby and more! Updated daily, for more funny memes check our homepage. Ooh, a little defensive first thing in the morning, aren’t we? It’s probably the lack of calories talking. Because this week I tried the 3- day military diet. Supposedly, you can lose up to 1. I never expected to lose 1. My metabolism moves at about the speed of a comatose sloth (due to Reasons– don’t give me metabolism advice either). Dramatic video of two male cuttlefish fighting over a female consort (Aegean Sea, 2011). Credit: Derya Akkaynak and Justine Allen When you hear “cuttlefish.I hoped for maybe five pounds. That seems reasonable, right? Hope for half the weight loss of a normal dieter? I started off not feeling too bad about it. Day 1 was not actually that much different than what I eat normally, except for cutting out the snacks. Plus there was caffeine, which I don’t allow myself too often (although I indulge in celebratory Diet Cokes sometimes). Breakfast, Day 1. I was still feeling pretty good about it at lunch. Lunch, Day 1. And, yes, I used measuring cups and spoons to make sure I was getting exactly the right servings of everything, anal- retentive types. Supper was kind of ginormous. Also, there was ice cream. Sign me up, right? Supper, Day 1. Day 2 made me crankier. This was significantly less food than I usually eat and following on the heels of a snackless Day 1, I was not happy about it. Breakfast, Day 2. Also, a cup of cottage cheese is a lot of cottage cheese. Blergh. Lunch, Day 2. Supper, Day 2 (Not pictured: 1/2 cup of ice cream)By the end of Day 2, I was suffering from major brain fog. I tried to put the cottage cheese back in the pantry instead of the refrigerator. I was so hungry that I ate dinner kind of early, which turned out to be a mistake because by 9: 0. I was ravenous again. I took to muttering vaguely intelligible phrases under my breath, like, “diet schmiet,” and, “mmm delicious popcorn,” and, “fucking shitass damn poop horrid cock bitch whore.”I’d like to tell you that I didn’t cheat at all, but I snuck two extra Saltines so that my stomach wouldn’t start eating itself. I felt a little better the next morning– more positive about the whole thing, at least. Breakfast, Day 3. Lunch pretty much broke my spirit, though. Lunch, Day 3. Yes, that is a single piece of dry whole wheat toast with one tiny hard boiled egg on it. On one fucking piece of toast! When I was little and made up stories about being captured and thrown in the dungeon, the evil captors still always fed me more than this. Sure, it was gruel and crusts, but at least it was more volume. At this point, I would have given up if I hadn’t already told half the world I was doing this as a pin test. No amount of weight loss is worth having that for lunch, really. Here’s dinner. I broke and added a tiny bit of mustard and relish to the tuna because a cup of dry tuna is kind of a lot. Supper, Day 3 (Not pictured: 1 cup of ice cream)Another two Saltines got me through the evening and I went to bed empty- bellied, but hopeful. So, to summarize: I stuck with this diet to the letter except for four extra Saltines. And I’m eating Mexican food and pizza today so I’m probably going to gain at least 1. It sucked, I hated it, and I would gladly take back that 1. I could not be starving for three days. And this is why I fail at almost every actual diet. I’d rather be chunky than feel like I’m dying. I mentioned my weight. Ignore that.)In conclusion, this diet sucks and is not worth the pain.
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November 2017
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